Taming the Demons

Head in a cloud
Fog all around
Give me some space
To take [back] my place
Among the crowds
Among the stars
The answer is near
Yet feels so far
Face the demons
Fight the shadows
Take back control
THIS is your power

    As I develop as both a person and a healer, I find there's always work to be done. Whether it's healing myself, others, or cleansing myself from others, there are practices that make this a lifestyle change. When I think about it, I realize that was the hardest part when it came to overcoming skepticism - I had to accept that everything down to my daily routine would change. My beliefs changed, my opinions changed, and I turned into someone that couldn't even recognize how much I've changed because I was just riding the tides of my newfound positivity. Current me does not recognize who I was a year ago, let alone 10 years ago - that seems like someone else entirely.

   This blog started with no name attached to it because I was still so shook up and afraid of being seen... especially by certain people that I had been running away from. As I felt comfortable being my true and authentic self on here, I opened up and aired out facts that I had been longing to share - not for any purpose other than for it to be spoken and feel that I would be heard. "Thank you" to those that continue to read through posts that touch on these sensitive topics as this whole process was very therapeutic for me. Yet I admit that I was still scared to have my name attached to my stories, and I fretted while waiting for the day where I thought it would "blow up in my face".

   It's normal to have this fear considering the circumstances, but one thing I've learned is that we all have the ability to create expectations that set ourselves up for certain outcomes. It's not easy to accept, I know (trust me!), but it's easier to see when you begin to trace things back through your history. Much like how we can manifest and attract, we can also curse ourselves and set ourselves up for disaster.

   Fun fact: I intentionally tested this out earlier today. I went to a grocery store that had a booze section so I grabbed a couple ciders.. but I did not bring my wallet with me on purpose. In fact, I sat in the car and said "they're going to ask me for my ID" and still left it on the test of "Will I be proven wrong?". Want to guess what happens next?? Yes, I was asked for my ID!

   Using my recent story as an example: I fully expected to be confronted on my post because I was doing the right thing by speaking up (sounds ridiculous now, right?). Speaking up was not an option for me earlier in my life, and wanting to think differently was always discouraged by manipulation and threats. I think it goes without saying but; I also expected my life could be in danger once I made my statement, so there's that factor as well. So yes, of course I would never want to be me and feel free in any way! It was easier to be suppressed and be numbing myself for many years. This was a conditioning factor but these truths made me realize something very important [which also gave me strength to push onward] -- I am worth having a better life and doing otherwise means they win!

   Giving yourself love and worth is at the heart of all this work... The world of spirituality, like religion, has many different belief systems, groups and rituals. As I came from no background at all and remained skeptic until the work changed my life, I didn't know where to begin. In a nutshell of what I've learned through the years, I can say it's got nothing to do pledging yourself to any big causes or purpose - that's only if you choose to. My own practices are done privately and have easily been used in public within moments... so yes, it was an adjustment for my group of friends (non-believers, all gamers) to see me change! Yet they tell me they see a new "sparkle" in my eyes and how they secretly resonate with posts I make, and I recognize THAT is what it means to be spiritual.

   This isn't the case for everybody, but it is for me. I see spirituality as opening up and working with your channels to consciousness. As my strongest gift was feeling (Empath), all my circumstances and the effects of my gifts put me in the gutter mentally and physically - and by clearing that up and working with it, I've effectively relieved most of my health problems. For me, that was enough reason to believe and work with it... but it wasn't that easy either. Much like what I've talked about in Not for the Faint of Heart, this journey to becoming a healer meant that I needed to look inwards and face my own demons so that I am able to help others do the same.

   Inner Alchemy can involve focusing on any aspect or circumstance of your life and confronting it. By facing our fears and learning what it does to us, we're able to handle changing it. When I called up my fear of being seen, I was an ant on a busy sidewalk... dodging yet waiting to be pancaked. It was a sad realization since it also reflected how I felt about my life, which had to sink in and depress me so I could find the drive to change it. Yet whats amazing about Inner Alchemy is that at this point, you can now transform it. I'm sure it sounds too imaginative to be true but it's essentially about the act of taking control of it and using it for good instead of allowing it to keep you down. This is why I like to say that a lot of work is about Taming the Demons - cause you're essentially doing that to your inner demons.

   The above work took time to integrate but I can report that I felt the changes occur with each session. It can be a work in progress if they're pesky (deeply rooted beliefs), but it's still a positive change that's within one's control. Being able to do this for yourself can prove how powerful you are, and this can open a new door for you while changing your life. If you're skeptical like I was but am interested in giving these practices a try, email me at info@ashleytilson.ca with "Taming the Demons" as the subject and I will arrange a FREE 1-on-1 session with you online. Even if not with me, I encourage everyone to explore their curiosity as they see fit - that's how I got started with my healing!

#empath #intuitiveempath #intuitivehealer #overcomingobstacles #inneralchemy #spiritualhealing #empathconfessions

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