Co-Piloting an Empath: Comfort

As a highly sensitive person (HSP), I have experienced emotional highs and lows - making stability a challenge at times. Although my husband admires my sensitivity, I have witnessed firsthand how challenging it can be to manage. Whether it's my occasional outburst when overwhelmed, or my difficulty in letting go of significant events, these are quirks that come with my personality.

It wasn’t until I discovered what I am that I was able to get this under control. Ultimately, it is up to the empath to take responsibility for their emotions - identifying their nature, recognizing the effects, and learning how to manage them. With that being said though, it’s never going to be “scotch-free”... because as an empath, we are conduits for (other people’s) energy (emotions)!

I wanted to write this series of articles as my own awakening in my abilities sparked a lot of conversations with my husband. As someone who went through her discovery alone, I wanted to share my thoughts and experiences in the hope that it would bring comfort, understanding, or even help, to anyone who ends up reading. Some topics were in order, with one of the most important being the subject of “comfort”.

Even controlled, an empath will occasionally need to verbally vent to release the pent-up emotions they’ve experienced. Ideally, every empath will have someone understanding to confide in occasionally, which helps in processing emotions. But there are some days that we just only see fit to release it in the comfort of our own home; and more than likely, simply will just only be comfortable to do in the presence of our significant other.

If you are the significant other, understand that when we vent in your presence, it is a sign of deep trust and comfort. If we come home to you but start to unravel and have a need to vent about every negative thought/person/experience from the day/week, just know that we’re able to do so because we trust you with every fibre of our being. This is also not a task that is easily done, so know that it’s literally just something we need to do from time to time to feel better. On a personal level, we often seek validation from an outside perspective to ensure our conclusions are justified - reflecting our trust in your judgment.

When I had this conversation with my husband, admittedly it became more of a “what am I supposed to do?” on his part. I was surprised to hear that he felt useless being the listener during these rants – he expressed sincere regret in his inability to be of any help for what troubled me. This saddened me and made me make a statement that brings me to the ultimate point here: “I don't always need answers or advice, just your attentive listening.”. I just want someone that I trust to listen to what I’m feeling and why, and just tell me if I’m ever out of line. After all, I'm just trying to purge the thoughts and emotions that I've picked up on that I can't speak on or do anything about.

The key message for significant others is this: We don't always need solutions or advice, just your presence and willingness to listen. As long as you care enough to do that, that is enough. And please, for your own sake, don’t take on any of our struggles either – it’s hard enough for us to deal with as it is, and we definitely don’t wish it to be brought upon you.

For those who find that this isn’t the case, give yourself a pat on the back! It’s hard not to resort to this activity at certain times in life. Perhaps you have already found a more effective outlet, which is fantastic. Just remember that sometimes it is okay to verbalize buried emotions! We are still human after all, and we know that it feels better to say what we really want to.

As an empath, the best way to avoid getting to this boiling point is to be able to remove yourself from these burdens altogether. I plan to write an article on this, but will say that there are many ways to do so including being honest and forward in your decisions & interactions, letting go of situations that are not your responsibility, etheric cord cleansing, and carrying crystals. If you’re new to some of this, don’t be intimidated, as it will just become a part of your every day once you start adopting it.

One last piece of advice I gave for situations where I am truly upset and there is nothing anyone can say or do about it: just give me a hug! For empaths, a hug is one of the most comforting gestures. It provides a sense of connection and support that words often cannot.

While this article talks about needing to verbally vent, I am NOT suggesting that this be a regular practice. Wherein a relationship - where it's mutually agreed and understood that it's a conversation with the intention to "sound off" - then it can be helpful and sometimes productive. Personally, this helped me to process a lot of things during my own awakening, however, I no longer do this as the act of "getting it all out of my system" fulfilled the need I had for doing this.