A Confession: Struggling with Addiction

     There's one primary observation that I've made since I've become a Healer... and that's of recognizing how many people were continuing to suppress their own abilities by relying on addictions. I don't mean to say that an addiction would turn off your gift because the truth of the effects is much deeper than that - when we're constantly using some coping method that momentarily makes us feel better about ourselves, then it's an addiction (and not a good one). Doing this day-in and day-out means that we're not taking the time to heal ourselves, and THIS combination is what causes your gifts to feel 1) more of a burden, and 2) not strong enough to feel "legit".

     As I was going down my Goddess & Priestess path last year, I hit a point where it felt like I was finally seeing the people around me more clearly. Forget the fact that I already started anew [with relationships] following a life review when I first awoke... this was another round that proved this cycle can happen many more times! Once again, I had to allow all to unravel in front of me while enduring lessons that further proved I need to always trust my intuition.

     Those that were dear friends still have my well wishes but became trivial to be around over the past year. This completely depended on their actions and words - a lot of times, I hear things that scream "false belief" and "that's a shadow talking". But taking any open opportunity to try and explain a more honest and/or positive outlook was met with resistance & denial. Sometimes it played out as me cheering one on towards a prosperous idea, only to have the whole idea be shot down. Before I knew it, I saw through addictions into the pain being ignored and have had to remind myself that I may not be able to help them. As an Empath, we end up levitating towards people that are similar in personality and life experience... and with that, the same applies to habits & hobbies.

But when we no longer align with (or agree with the lifestyle decisions of) others, patience starts to grow thin. I find it's only a matter of time before our differences in opinion (perspective) clash and it becomes a problem for the relationship...

     The friends that I've had over the years are all smokers. I'm sharing this much because smoking is the last addiction I need to scratch off the list, and it's been left last because it's been the hardest for me. Smoking was hard to escape - I grew up with people that smoked indoors, seemingly with no regard to the effects that had, and I fully picked the habit up myself when I was of age. My brand of fun has been sharing in my love of gaming (tabletop & video), movies and music while smoking & drinking with friends. Needless to say, there came a realization as to WHY I was still struggling with this addiction... and it had everything to do with my choice of company.

Another known trait of an Empath - and one that improves with self-empowerment - is how easily we can be persuaded by, and can flawlessly mirror, others...

     Partaking in the above activities with friends was the only way I knew to socialize and keep friends... so I allowed myself to carry on without a second thought. So I had to realize the harsh truth.. that environment and these relationships are not supportive of my best interests. Smoking has always been a part of my home environment, a habit common in all my relationships, and had created a deeply rooted belief (that I was doomed to it from the start) that kept me tied to it.

     Realizing this much was only the beginning though - but it's a very important reflection point to start with. I meditated on this and asked for help & reassurance in quitting ~ I've successfully quit 7 times before but always fell back into it when times got tough, and I really don't want that to happen again! I admit that what I did different this time is I silently prayed that Divine intervention would help force me into quitting for good.

     That was late last year, when the holidays approached and I began my "review period" where I set my personal goals for 2020. I recognized that I wanted and needed to quit, but I still didn't have a plan... I just sent my wishes along with my intentions into the universe. Low and behold, I appeared to have woken up with a new palate this year -- smoking began to taste disgusting, and the act began to feel off-putting to me. This caused me to cut back and began to change my perspective on my addiction. Call it coincidence, but the truth remains that it helped immensely.. and the timing of the COVID-19 pandemic seemed to be the end of it for me as I allowed myself to run out of cigarettes.

  Addiction depends heavily on past experience and beliefs - as we use it to numb pain and try to process our thoughts, a root to "home" grows at the center of the addiction and intermingles our trauma with it. After all my years of healing and attempting to overcome this particular addiction throughout, I can say it's much easier to endure the change when you're healed and ready to move on in all aspects of your life. Be kind, give yourself a break and room to breath, and look inward if you're ready and willing to kick an addiction.

If you find yourself looking for healing and guidance with your addiction, consider booking me online.

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