A Confession - Patience

   Patience doesn’t come easy to me, and often wears thin as a result of intuition. Before knowing I had such intuition, my patience was aggravated by outside factors that pushed me away from whatever situation or decision I was in. Some people judge me negatively for being a person who’s quick to move, as (in some cases) I won’t stay in one place too long… but would never entertain the idea of understanding why. Very few, myself included (although I argue with myself about this at times), realize it’s due to our deep morals and values that take priority. Call it, or me, what you will… but at some point I see there’s a good reason to all my “hasty” decisions.

   When it comes to everyday things, I have about as much patience as time allows me. As every minute counts for me, I schedule most of my life. Between making sure I get at least 8 hours sleep, to working my full-time job and the blog, and the little things in between all that, I’ve ensured my time is valuable. I believe this is actually a crucial lesson everyone needs to learn for oneself, especially if they’re starting off in a career and/or their own business. Being someone that sees no good reason to waste time at anything (for whatever reason), my lack of patience turns into an anxiety that pushes me to do something about the issue.

   On the flip side, patience comes easy in certain situations. Awaiting news, following a plan, and deciding to give a chance, are among the “uncertain” situations wherein the anxiety can be tamed. But only to a certain degree… Unfortunate as it may be, this can be a struggle in situations where we’re waiting on a chance or change. And when other factors (namely new messages/facts that come up) come about during this wait, patience gets tested even further… and sometimes helps to come to a conclusion faster.

   For a long time, I assumed this was all due to my personal character, and from my own negative experiences. This is likely true for others that can identify with what I’ve just said, but I had come to realize this is due (at least partially) to my intuition. What I had named as outside factors turned out to be truth and insights I receive; causing anxiety as I endured and ignored it… building up until I couldn’t take it anymore. Having realized that all of my seemingly unexpected exits led me to more clarity and happiness, as well as the path I have found myself on, I carry no regrets for any of my decisions. Much like what I’ve written on before – many times, everything has to happen a certain way for a reason.

   Knowing that life must sometimes play out in it’s mysterious way for good reasons is exactly why we must take caution with every insight, and learn to become patient. And not just patient, I’ve learned – I’ve also learned it’s sometimes more insightful to just be genuinely innocent and unknowing, and as the positive note to the negative front (in all situations). The latter approach comes with some weight at times, more so when the answer comes in flat-out ignorance or the insight of their nasty (albeit: always incorrect and is clearly about them) assumption/opinion about you. While tough to deal with times, these are the moments where being our patient self pays off; eventually, karma plays out in it’s own form as the repercussions of their behaviour affect their life.

   While patience is a virtue for some, it’s sometimes a hard skill to control for people like myself. That’s why, admittedly, I’ve had a few moments in the past where I’ve (finally) become so upset that I explode and don’t have control of what I say. These moments can feel good as there’s baggage (truths) to unload, but obviously comes across as crazy to anyone not expecting this. We regret this action immediately, as the outburst really isn’t in our nature, but accept the consequences are likely how things should be anyway. Perhaps we’ve decided enough is enough and wanted to call it sooner, or perhaps we needed to have the altercation. Truthfully I’ll never know the real answer as to why, but reflecting on such events only reassures me there were many valid reasons for how I acted (and reinforces the need to not dwell on anything from the past!).

   Even when things are going great enough that patience isn’t a struggle, I find I still have a rocky relationship with it. It’s something to be recognized, but also to be bartered with at times. It is our greatest test in life, considering our intuition, and it can also be our greatest weakness in certain situations.  How we choose to deal with that varies depending on what aids each person and situation, but nevertheless we know we need to tame it. Bottom line though: this is one of the few aspects about being me that I don’t wish on anyone else.

#empath #intuitiveempath #lifelessons #spiritualawakening #empath101 #empathconfessions

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