Empath 101 - Forgiveness
One of the emotions that I have found myself struggle with is forgiveness. Forget the fact that I remember what people say when it's anything of significance, or that sets off an alarm bell - just having the hunch on one's true intentions makes it hard to be forgiving when they speak and act otherwise. Additionally, the barrage of negative messages & energies at times can cause me to struggle with my own self esteem & forgiving myself - especially when picking up on the Negative Nancy's thinking ill of me for no reason. It can be hard to deal with it all, but there's a lot to realize for coping with this.
Starting off with the tough stuff, yes - it's hard to be an Intuitive Empath in situations where you can't escape dealing with negative energies. One example of where I find this problem a lot is at work; as it's a situation where I'm stuck in the same space with many other people, and some/most that clash with my personality. Some days can be fine, but some days can be hard to get through when I feel surrounded by negativity. Having days where you feel like you're physically fighting off someone's bad mood (example: feeling the heat and tension from a co-worker that's having a bad day, while sometimes also picking up that they've thought an ill statement of me/others as a result) can cause a huge drain that requires time to recover from. Having this happen so often has led me to re-evaluate my outlook on relationships in a way, as I deemed this necessary to protect myself.
Having so many experiences where time is spent waiting to see if someone follows through on their word or otherwise, has set a tone for how I approach people with similar energy. If I encounter someone that comes off as possibly untrustworthy ("shady"), I put up an alternate front; being nothing but basic and pleasant while guarded, which makes it hard to build a relationship without their effort for it. While I'm not necessarily recommending this be how to deal with these personalities, I will say that this is what works for me. Again, I personally feel as though I've learned the hard way on who to trust and help - I feel it necessary to highlight a personal disclaimer that I always have, and will continue to be, that person that's always willing to, and looking for ways to help... but certain persons may never get to see that side of me.
After having dealt with enough to say I've learned the patterns of those that are two-faced and/or self-destructive, I've come to a point of knowing time will always tell in revealing their true nature, and play out accordingly. In rare occasions, I've seen someone prove themselves in a positive way and it ends up being their protective front or past baggage that negatively foreshadows their presence... but most of the time, I find karma eventually does the job. Whether it's an event that turns their life onto a different path, or that sparks a life lesson or decision which in turn changes them, I find there ends up being a slim chance that I ever see these people again. Having the patience to wait and see things play out usually provides reassurance that dealing with such energies was only temporary, and the change even benefiting the do-gooders such as myself afterwards.
Living with such uneasiness, not to mention the interactions, or worse (when it comes to relationships that are close), can cause a lot of questions to surface about oneself. For me personally, I had a hard time forgiving myself for:
1) being too nice to people that didn't deserve it,
2) giving a second chance to those untrustworthy,
3) having put myself into more "trust-testing" situations, even after feeling that I know better.
While this list also applied to me before I discovered who I am, I find it still highly applicable - the only thing different is that I now know other's moods/intentions. Regardless of the time and circumstances, I find it hard to be forgiving of myself when I feel negatively influenced by things I pick up on.
It has taken a while to learn to forgive myself for what I see as my past mistakes, as I've learned they were simply life lessons on what and who to believe. I've also learned to be forgivingly gentle with myself as I encounter negative energies and thoughts that directly affect me. It hasn't been easy - I won't lie; sometimes it takes centering myself and remembering what really matters (to me) to block out what's nagging at me. After all, it usually isn't my business to know most of what I come to know anyways; so I probably shouldn't let it concern me!
When it comes to other people, it's hard to set a standard or guideline on their trustworthiness. Sometimes people are good natured but prone to making hasty & risky/bad decisions, and sometimes people think & believe they have the best intentions when they truthfully don't - these types of personalities are the hardest ones to work with and learn from, which can easily play with your emotions. This has turned into my criteria on energies to be cautious with, hence my approach with those that give me any uncertainty. Should I feel uneasy for reasons possibly related to not being able to trust someone, than I already know it will be hard to be forgiving towards them. I feel that I owe it to myself to dodge the roller coaster by avoiding a friendly relationship with such persons in the first place; this allows me to be forgiving of myself for at least doing right in that regard, and avoiding my own hurt from possibly getting entangled in something I don't like.
Everyone will likely have their own examples to work from as they recognize what they need to, but I hope my explanations provided some relativity (or even some solace) for those looking for it. While I think it's always going to be a little hard to forgive myself, I at least take confidence from knowing I can tell who to be forgiving with.
Above all else, we must remember that even though we are Intuitive Empaths so that we can help others, their problems are not our responsibility and we must forgive ourselves when it doesn't resolve the way we see it should.
At the end of the day, we too go home to our life, family and priorities, and must remind ourselves to reserve our primary energy & focus for that.
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